18 August – 31 August 2024

Another trip to Gatwick. Liz spiced it up this time and got us valet parking – needing to explain several times over that it was only 8 GBP more expensive. The girls did not seem to mind. It was a nice touch, and made our Peugeot feel like a Bentley. 

A quick stop after customs at Waggamamas for their excellent breakfast (who would have guessed?) and we were on our flight to Geneva. Thank you again EasyJet, who appeared to be sponsoring our summer. This was Ant’s 4th flight to Geneva for the year – none of which were work related. 

We landed, hired our Volkswagen Polo and quickly realised that this did not ‘comfortably’ carry 5 passengers + bags. Who needs comfort anyway? We stacked bags on kids laps and made our way to Port Ripaille – just outside Thonon-les-Bains on the banks of Lake Geneva. 

We arrived at Fred and Noemie’s holidays house (with a tarte tartin purchased enroute at Le Panetier Vésenaz that was voted the best apple pie ever) and quickly settled in.

Despite the drizzly conditions, we were on their boat and on the lake within a couple of hours, and learning how to wake surf, with highly variable success. Once it did click, however, it was super fun. 

The next few days were spent hanging out in Port Ripaille, learning to wake surf, kayaking and SUPing, exploring the local area and just catching up with the Guillots, and meeting some of their friends who were also in the area. 

There was one specifically amazing morning where the sun was out, the music was playing and we were on the boat on the lake, taking in the beautiful scenery and perfect conditions for riding waves. It was such a privilege to be there – it was literally a ‘pinch yourself’ moment. I’m not sure whether the girls really understood just how ‘different’ this was to ‘normal life’ – it’s something you have to feel rather than have explained to you. But it was really special. 

As always it was great to be able spend a few days with the Guillots and be able to reconnect. It’s hard to believe it has been 20+ years that we’ve been doing this now, and lovely to see how our kids are getting to know each other as well. It’s not always easy – the language differences are real, particularly when there are bigger groups of french people speaking ‘fast French’ between friends or over dinner – but it’s great practice (both of the language and also general life skills) for us all. 

Often times easy is not always best. 

All too quickly it was time to pack ourselves and our bags back into our VW Polo (not big enough for a family of 5 + luggage as it turns out) and head back to the airport and Istanbul, the next leg of our trip. 

Turkey 

This was the girls first foray into the (relatively secular) Muslim world – a warm up to some bigger plans we had for the Middle East over the next year or so. We planned just a quick ‘amuse bouche’ of a couple of days, going to some sights, having a cultural experience and eating lots of good Turkish food. 

The first win of the trip was undoubtedly the flight to Istanbul from Geneva. The girls have not flown anything but budget airlines since our arrival in the UK, and they were beside themselves with excitement about the Turkish Airways Airbus, complete with seat back TVs and lunch. The flight went almost too quickly as we played chess and battleships – we didn’t even have time to get started on the movies. Turkish Airlines is now Sienna’s favourite. 

We based ourselves in the Old Town at the excellent Turna Hotel – which came complete with an amazingly friendly manager and our own private roof terrace with views to the Blue Mosque and Hagia Sophia. The perfect place to sit on the balcony and listen to the call to prayer. The first time they heard it echoing across the city the girls were transfixed. 

Fun fact about Istanbul – they broke Google reviews. Most restaurants have thousands of reviews, most of which are 5 star (and automatically generated). Occasionally you have poor reviews too, which are responded to in a long winded and highly emotional manner. The net result is that Google reviews – normally a mainstay for us (if not Liz’s only source) – were not helpful. 

Flying relatively blind (and using travel blogs as our main point of reference) we found ourselves in Giritli for dinner on our first night. A realistic 4.2 Google review rating. It turns out that this place was Michelin rated (not starred) and was priced accordingly, but we had been on the move all day and hadn’t really eaten, so we decided to pay the 50 euro per person cover and went in for the set menu. 

It was extraordinary and seemingly endless. Sadly half way through the 5+ courses Ellie buckled, and we had to get the last half of the meal ‘to go’. This caused a bit of confusion initially, but ended in the staff talking to us about their kids of similar ages, and us walking out with mains and dessert in doggy bags – along with a free bottle of wine. 

We went home, had some of the best sea bass we’ve had out of aluminium take out boxes with plastic forks and sipped our free wine; all the time looking across at the Blue Mosque and hearing the call to prayer. It was a pretty wonderful way to start our Istanbul exploration. 

The next day we had an early start, making our way to the Blue Mosque for its 830am opening, showing the girls the amazing domes and beautiful calligraphy.

A highlight was the impromptu tour/explanation from a young women who manned the desk educating the public about Islam. She must have spent half an hour with us, explaining Islam and some of the highlights of the mosque. Her passion was inspiring. We left with a bunch of pamplets and a ‘pocket sized’ translation of the Koran – all of which got a pretty good workout at dinner that night.

The rest of our two days in Istanbul were spent exploring a very small area of this massive city (really just sections of Eminonu, Tophane and Kabatas), including the interesting Basilica Cistern

the Spice Market and

(massively overly touristy) Grand Bazaar.

We collected some nibbles at Namli Pastirmaci behind the spice market and retreated to our balcony for a lavish feast with amazing food.

And we finished off the day with sunset at a roof top bar

Aside from the Blue Mosque, the highlights were probably the food (dinner at Tomtom Kebap (twice)

and breakfast at Van Kahvalti Evi)

and the Hammam Cağaloğl – which steamed and scraped us to within an inch of our lives on the second afternoon.

The hammam experience included being steamed for 20 mins, vigorously rubbed down with a rough sponge, washed with bubble bath, massaged/kneeded like a loaf of bread and then waterboarded with warm water. It was somewhere between torture and pleasure, performed by (in Ant’s case) a Turkish guy with a massive tummy and black boardshorts, under the dome of a spectacular mediaeval building. We all came out glowing and slightly disoriented, Ellie announcing that she wanted to go back the following day. 

And that was that. Istanbul in 2 days. Just enough time for a ‘taster’ for the girls, and to remind us that we were, in fact, in Turkey before disappearing into Club Med for the week. 

Club Med 

The cab from Antalya airport sat stubbornly in Saturday traffic as we made our way south towards the coast. The interior of the people mover (we definitely had one too many children in terms of economical taxi travel) was decked out like a night club – complete with starry ceiling and leather seats. Our flight had been unremarkable, at least after we had consoled the kids about the lack of in flight entertainment on this short hop from Instanbul. 

Once we had cleared the city our sparkly van made its way along the coast, and we all retreated into our playlists, watching with increasing excitement as the eastern Mediterranean coastline flirted with us around bends. Istanbul had been wonderful, but we were all excited about the opportunity to really switch off for a few days. 

This was to be our first Club Med experience. We had booked it following the success of the couple of days in Roatan last year – the kids still spoke fondly of the pool and ‘chilling out’ there. We had chosen Club Med for its reputation for having heaps of activities for everyone to do – from wakeboarding and waterskiing to sailing, kayaking, tennis, padel, archery and trapeze to pétanque and table tennis. Not to mention the exercise classes. Aside from this – and the price tag (pricier than normal, but probably less than a ski trip) – we didn’t really know what we were getting ourselves into. 

So what did we learn? 

1. Club Med is French. Really French – we probably should have realised this in advance, but Club Med (at least in Turkey) was predominately a French resort, visited by mostly French people (about 70% the week we were there, around 10% Anglo and 20% everything else). But the ‘Frenchness’ goes way beyond language – what really surprised us was how ‘culturally’ French the place felt. You could not walk past someone without saying Bonjour. There was a dress code in the restaurants that was strictly enforced, but anything went outside of this. Kids were expected to be independent, to socialise and basically run amok, but also be polite to adults and play within the tramlines provided. And if they dared jump queue then other adults would have no hesitation in pulling them back into line. We saw very little ‘pandering’ to kids – resilience was expected. If a child climbed up the trapeze but did not want to jump, they were manoevered into position and given a little nudge – it was clear that there was only one way down. Participation in age group related activities was not ‘mandatory’ but was certainly encourage (and without doubt the way that kids got most out of the experience) – and explains why many of our French friends are comfortable around boats, water skiing, table tennis, tennis etc etc. No doubt they’re archery guns as well. And there is a competition for pretty much every activity. Tennis tournaments every night, sailing regattas, daily archery and volleyball competitions etc. The French love a competition, and this sentiment is alive and well here.

2. It may be a cult – Club Med has a 60+ year history that everyone around the resort seemed to be versed in. It has it’s own language – the staff are called ‘GOs’ (Gentil Organisateurs) and the guests are called ‘GMs’ (Gentil Membres). It has it’s own dances (called Crazy Signs). It has its own uniforms – emblazoned with the ‘iconic’ 45 symbol, which symbolised the 45th anniversary of Club Med some 15 years ago, and has stuck. GMs now buy 45 shirts from resorts they have been to, and wear them to new resorts, a bit like football jerseys. Each night has a dress code – which most people follow (don’t worry if you didn’t pack appropriately, you can buy your outfit for the night at the boutique!). Whilst there is no judgement for ‘non participation’ it is hard to argue that it is more fun to stand ‘on the sidelines’ than jump in and join the dance. 

3. The leader of the cult is the ‘Chef du Village’ – in our case an early 30s guy by the name of Jonathan, who was literally everywhere, and always looking immaculate in the theme of the day. He was at the tennis courts most mornings at 8am, could be spotted around the pool at lunch, welcoming guests to dinner in the evening and presenting the shows at the evening and leading the party at the club every night. According to the website, he also runs the leadership team and so runs a team of some 500+ workers who service the up to 1700 GMs that Palmiye accommodates. Like a good school principal, apparently experienced GMs will ‘follow’ their favourite Chefs du Village around the various postings (ours had previously run Bali and Valmorel in the Alps).

4. The ‘GOs’ are the key to success – the place is operated by two types of staff members.  The GOs are the 100+ ‘front of house’ animators who run the reception desk, the kids/teenage clubs and all the activities. The ‘back office’ staff run the kitchens, hotel, gardens etc etc – these guys are basically all locals. The GOs are from around the world (including many local Turks) and are selected due to their skills (for example in archery or circus arts) and their personality (think friendly, engaging and very hard working) plus their ability to get up on stage 6 nights a week and perform – whether it be in the nightly shows or in the club). They are working 6 days a week and something like 16 hours a day, with a few breaks in the middle. It’s pretty reminiscent of Disney staff. It’s tough, but the fact that everyone we spoke to was doing multiple seasons, and often at multiple resorts, suggests its also pretty good fun. GOs run the activities, compete against GMs in competitions, eat with GMs in the restaurants and then perform at night (which is kind of funny – by the second night, you can’t help but play the ‘that dancer got Jessie her kayak today’ game). They are key to creating the ambience of the resort – if you want to a dress code theme to catch on, it’s no bad thing having 100 fit young 20 somethings interspersed in the crowd dressed in theme; likewise if you want to create a ‘spontaneous’ dance party around a pool or in the club.

5. The whole place has been ‘optimised’ to create ‘holiday memories’ – these guys have been doing this for a long time, and they know what works. Nothing is accidental or left to chance. Day time activities with kids their own age (in our case by day 2 or 3 once the initial trepidation had been worked through), or indeed adults with similar interests, to break down barriers and learn new things. Some of the evening events (the ‘white party’ on the resort lawn overlooking the palm trees and the sea, the colour party complete with flowing champagne fountains) felt like something out of an Oscar Wilde book. (Complete with photographers capturing family memories).  ‘Clubbing’ in the Efes Bar/club for the teenagers (and sometimes adults) alongside/under the watchful eye of the GOs. Late night swims, table tennis or pétanque games for the younger kids. The whole place was ‘optimised’ so that you flowed naturally from one thing to another, never seeming to be too far from the next thing, as if being nudged by an invisible hand. 

6. The food is like nothing we have ever experienced – the sheer variety and quality of the food at both the buffets or restaurants was incredible. Freshly BBQed fish, steak, amazing fresh fruit and vegetables, local cuisine, sushi, sashimi and freshly made pasta all hit the buffets at various times and never ran out. French and local desserts, not to mention the bread. All accompanied by decent free wine, good cocktails and amazing fresh juices, mocktails and coffee meant we were absolutely spoilt for choice.

7. Making friends can still be intimidating – but is ultimately worth it. It took our girls 2-3 days to get into the ‘flow’ of the place, and get the confidence to get into the ‘kids clubs’ – particularly considering the (largely perceived) language barriers. Getting through this fear was immediately rewarded by finding kids that they ended up spending a good part of the rest of the trip with (to the point that we had to start to agree dedicated ‘family time’ activities or meals so that we would see each other). These girls were from a range of backgrounds including Romania, Poland, Turkey, Lebanon and the UK – this variety is still something we love about Europe. 

So what was the overall verdict? 

It was unlike any other week that we have done as a family, with moments of decadence and privelege like we’ve never experienced. At times it also felt a bit contrived, like we were being stepped through a proven ‘process’, the outcome of which would be a ‘great holiday’. But mostly it was just great fun. We got to hang out as a family, we got to eat amazing food and drink amazing drinks. We got to learn and do a bunch of things that we wouldn’t normally do (Sena is now an archery and table tennis demon) and the kids got a level of independence that would be impossible in a less safe environment. Ellie was out with her mates at the nightclub, dancing on the podium until after midnight on at least 3 occasions. We got to do limbo in the pool and play hours of table tennis and pétanque while sipping on aperos. 

It’s definitely not an ‘every holiday’ destination for us – the list of places we want to see and things we want to do is too long for that – but it is definitely on the cards for either an annual ‘chill out week’ or a potential option for a diving or surfing week. 

Or maybe we should just be guided by where Jonathan ends up next.